So, if I could, I would buy like 5 of the March Dozen's kits...... because they just look so dang fun! I mean, that apple fabric?? yum.
I kept telling myself... I'm not going to go bitch on my blog.... I'm not going to go bitch on my blog....
but it's my blog! And I need to bitch!
well, whine is really more like it.
Long story short, I budgeted in money for new easter clothes this week.
And then Neil doesn't go to work yesterday because his job was rained out and his boss had no where else to put him. He may not work today either.
(and I do know that it's really an amazing thing that Neil made it all winter without losing any work, trust me, I've spend many winters (ok, fine like 3) dirt poor and Neil out of work.)
BUT just as we get in this budget groove, start saving and I'm like, WOW for the first time in a long time I can buy new clothes, it all comes crashing down.
I don't have any clothes people. And when I say that, I don't mean that I've got a whole closet of clothes I don't wear anymore, or that I just don't have a current trendy wardrobe. I mean, I have one pair of jeans, that are wearing REALLY thin because I wear them everyday, about five over abused hoodies and maybe 2 or 3 casual shirts. Nothing else really, unless you're wanting me to start counting my unmentionables.
Pretty much every time I buy something new, I have either ended up taking it back because we needed the money (didn't budget well) or I sold it later on ebay or consignment to make extra cash for things like dinner or gas (again, we just didn't budget well).
It wasn't too bad - I was going to school online and was home studying all day anyways. But now I'm back on campus. That sucks..... is it really terrible that I just want to look decent?? Not even for anyone but I just want to feel like MYSELF.
And now, we are doing money RIGHT. We are dealing and paying and wow, it's been good. And I have a clothes budget! Not a large one, but it's a start!
And I get so embarrassed when holidays and family events come up and I've got to come dressed frumpy - I hate it. Everyone has seen me in the same old hoodie more than a million times. I don't look like me, I don't feel like me and I don't feel even good about the fact that Neil has to present this bum as his wife. SO SICK OF IT. I don't want a million dollar closet people, I just want to dress like myself, I want to look like ME, and I want to feel good about myself.
So this wasn't really a long story short.
And yesterday after having to redo the budget to deal with the fact that Neil didn't work yesterday, maybe not today either, meant cutting out Easter clothes.
And it just bummed me out.
(I do understand that things could be much worse.... we could have no food, or not be able to pay bills at all.... I do get that. I am grateful that we're going much better than we have been, I'm able to go to school full time and my husband is an amazing provider. I am more than thankful. I'm just bummed out right now and venting k?)
I've always heard it's impolite to talk money and your situation in public. Eh.
Sunday I got to see my lovely friend Kelly K.
Going to get positive now - Going to make it through Easter wearing my frumpy jeans and hoodie (hey, it's going to be cold anyways right?) and keep doing what I've got to do!