...dirty feet and a wide open mind.

feeling fall.

thursday flickr favorites.
1. wasn't an escape. 236/365, 2. so far we've lost focus, 3. snow hat up close, 4. Untitled, 5. stuck, 6. squam peeps, 7. cross, 8. strung highly, 9. Untitled, 10. camp, 11. Robyn, Against Some Random Wall in the Park, 12. Untitled

That very first photo, has been left in my browser for days. and days.
something about it.
something about all of them really. I love getting struck by an image.

Happy Thursday!

Scrapbook 4 Cecilia.

So, many of us in scrapbook land (it's a real place right? out here in the internets?) know Patty.
She's pretty much awesome.
And she's doing something pretty cool.

You can read the whole story here, as well as in many of Patty's own blog posts, but she's pulled a raffle together to try and help out a friend in need.


Feel free to click the banner above, or for more information about buying tickets, click here.

You can check out Patty's post here about the overall prize, but you may want to dig back through some of her other posts as she's got a few videos and prize descriptions. So much awesome stuff!!

Thought I would pop in tonight and post this real quick - now I'm off eat some dinner and organize the craft area - good times!

exactly.

"The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them -- words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst I think. When the secret stays locked within not for a want of a teller but for an ear." 

- Stephen King

"The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them -- words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst I think. When the secret stays locked within not for a want of a teller but for an ear." 

- Stephen King

Just two.

These two songs make my heart swell:

(I posted the link to that a couple posts ago, but I don't care. Love is crazy like that.)

I had a bad dream last night. I don't like scary dreams. When I was little I used to dream that I was Lydia Deetz in the cartoon version of Beetlejuice. I would like more dreams like that.
that is all. happy monday.

I feel like a little thief.

Because after I chose my word for this year (which is the first year I have done this, so I'm way behind on this concept) I found out that Heather had already picked this as her word! But I begged and pleaded (well, I left a comment on her blog) asking if I too could use this word and she very generously did not accuse me of copying and said it was fine.

I worry a lot obviously.

ANYWAYS. My word for this year is:

(I only made this because I really really love woodstamp. loooooove it.)

Yep. Focus.

I have the worst time focusing on anything. I'm the girl who has so many tabs up on her computer she has to open another window so that way she can fill that one up with tabs. I open things and then go to something else. And that's just one example of my issues with this. ha.

My head usually feels like a fuzzball. And if I really truly need to focus on something.... it bothers me. It's hard. I struggle and my head gets more fuzzy. I know a lot of it comes from this digital age we all live in, but at the same time, a lot of it is just bad habits I've taught myself.

my mind always feels like it's on 15 topics at once. like right now, I just went over to my email and started replying to something and I had to tell myself to get back to blogging. And I can just feel my brain resisting... if I'm not working on three things at once THEN I'm confused. yikes.

My choice was up in the air for quite a while, really up until yesterday because I was also considering the word "confidence". But I really really do struggle with focus and I can't worry about having the confidence to do things if I can't focus enough on anything anyways!!

I spent yesterday at borders, just browsing. That place calms me so much it's crazy (what?). I found this book:
Find Your Focus Zone and thumbed through it. Looks like a great book, reviews online are very good and I'm excited to have a place to start!

For awhile, and still some days... I get quite pissed about the state of myself. I want to point fingers and find someone to fix me. But I am the only one who can help myself. I am the one who has to fight for MY life. I have to be the change.

So now, it's time to focus.

xo.

eek!

I am interrupting my usual blog posts to bring you something I meant to post days and days and days ago!

I've had this saved in my google reader with the intention of reminding me to share it.
Which it did when I finally found it again.
Today.
Much later than I meant it to.

Oh well. Better late than never!

Sweet Twee Labs is having a guest designer call!!!
Due on the 14th.

You can find more info about it HERE.

I guest designed for Sweet Twee in October - the kits are chock full of yummy stuff, lots of vintage. The variety of products give you so much opportunity for all sorts of creativity!

So go check it out!

It's worth reading until the end....

I realized that I've been neglectful sharing some of the lovely things I've discovered lately.

#1. I know a lot of the folks in my circles are caught up in knitting (I go back and forth about picking it up again, I'm kinda lazy!!) BUT if anyone does crochet, While We Play has some beautiful patterns!

and I believe all her patterns are buy two get one free. I'm excited to try them out and get out of my basic stitch rut.

#2. When I was looking for a gift for my sister in law, as soon as I saw these mugs by Skeletal Dropkick I knew I had found it.

Each mug is unique and they are so dang adorable. I also really really really need to jump on getting one of the yarn bowls and probably this canopic jar.

#3. Soooo... to say I've been hanging out at Borders A LOT lately would be an understatement. If I still lived in Lee's Summit I would probably be there every day. Last month before Neil and I went to see another showing of Twilight I was checking out their stationary and gift section. I found an amazing brand of beauty and candle products by Pacifica.

I am currently addicted to the Avalon Juniper scent and I've got the soap, perfume and body butter to prove it.

I've been slowly collecting their candles and plan on ordering some pillar candles from them soon. I can NEVER find decent pillar candles and I get tired of having recycle containers when I don't need them in the first place.

The scents are earthy and not too heavy. After looking up the company's info online I couldn't be more in love...

- No "parabens, propylene glycol, phthalates and lead wicks." (YES!!!!!!!!)
- "Packaging is both recyclable and made with recycled content and the company reuses and reduces wherever possible."
- "Pacifica is working towards carbon neutrality and is 100% committed to cruelty-freedom."
- No "animal ingredients, including beeswax, and does not test its formulations on animals or use ingredients that are currently tested on animals."
- "Pacifica cares for its employees with pleasant and safe working conditions, offering health insurance, 401k plans and an opportunity to grow within the company, realizing that one of their most valuable natural resources are the people who share their vision."

I love finding companies like this. I bought some of the candle sets for small gifts this past Christmas and tried to spread the love as much as possible.

#4. I've been finding some really inspiring blogs lately (hence the need to reorganize Google Reader) and I decided to add a new blog roll with everything I read. You can find it here.

#5. I was quite sad to read about Red Velvet Kit Club closing it doors BUT I think I may start purchasing kits from Kenner Road. I've admired them since they started a few months ago, and the design team always creates the most amazing pages. I need a little kick in the rear scrapbooking wise. I've already gone through and purged most of my supplies which always helps and I'm hoping this new mix of products will also spur some creativity!
This makes this a two parter but it is scrapbooking related. Has anyone heard about Claudine Hellmuth's new book The Scrapbooker's Creativity Kit? I'm excited to see what it's all about!

#6. Last night I picked up the book YOU ARE HERE by Thomas M. Kostigen. I've just started reading it and I have to admit, it's so fascinating. It's so important to know just exactly why what we do affects the planet and how. Reading about not just melting ice caps or polar bears, but entire civilizations, historical monuments all effected by how we live. Really understanding impact is so helpful, especially now that "green" is bought and sold like anything else these days. It also really shows how connected we all are in this world. Everything is presented lightly, it does not read like a textbook, I promise!

Because I really believe in this books message, I picked up two copies.
Annnnnd.... as much as I wish I could give everyone a copy, I only have the one, SO...
Leave a comment and on Friday the 9th I will pick a winner!

Hope everyone is having a great week!!!

(*obviously but still noteworthy all these photos belong to each company and are not my own.)

all good things.

(my goodness.... my boy's hair is looooong.)

Thanksgiving was lovely stuff. Very low key and nice.

How was yours?

We also spent the weekend at my in law's lake house. that was so extremely nice. we haven't had the chance to spend a weekend away in quite awhile.

Just checking in, but before I go..... does anyone else love this mug as much as me?

I mean, it's sloths. and sloth love. I'm doing some serious swooning here.

Ok, back to playing with photos. Hope everyone had a great holiday!

(title: weepies: all good things)

thankful. of course.

So, I kinda wanted to post a photo or maybe a handwritten note, just something different to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. But it didn't happen... and that's ok.

Seriously though. A couple things I am definitely thankful for:

- a laundry mat right up the street when our $35 (oh yeah, lasted 6 months too!) washing machine finally kicked the bucket.

- the fact that even though we had to miss Neil's family's thanksgiving last Sunday, tomorrow we get to see his mom, dad, siblings and grandparents and that makes me happy.

- memories of meeting my sweet baby niece. editing pictures of her a little each day to keep those memories that much more fresh.

- making broccoli casserole for my family's thanksgiving tomorrow. happy to also be bringing a big bag of kettle corn bought fresh from a stand outside our grocery store this morning. love those fun surprises.

- cheesy bacon waffle fries that I made today for lunch. (seriously, just organic shredded cheese, some bacon bits I had in the freezer from the last batch and alexia waffle fries. goodness me oh my.)

- that Neil is home with me until Monday. Even though we need the money and we were planning on him working today and Friday... I will never ever complain about a chance to be with him.

- good therapy this week where I was told I get to take some memories and beat the crap out them. I'll leave you to think what you want about that. it's good for me.

Lastly, the lovely miss kayla tagged me, and since I was already making a list, here are 6 quirky things about me:

1. I'm going through an "everything must be cheesy" phase. I just ate a bowl of cheesy broccoli and mushrooms. And yeah, remember the statement about cheesy bacon waffle fries? I'm sad, because I try to limit dairy but man.... cheeeeeeese.

2. I love the movie 40 Year Old Virgin. We're watching it on USA right now. just cracks me up. I'm really a big fan of 15 year old boy humor. yeeeaaah.

3. I take too many family photos. Half of it is because I love these people, I love these memories. Half of it is because I just love being behind a camera, I can't help myself. Getting ready to post a whole bunch of new albums from the past few years on facebook so I can share with family. That's the only way I can justify the massive amount of pics I have.

4. I'm addicted to Method soy candles (I don't mind modified soy products I don't eat so much, haha...) right now. Some of them come in these amazing white ceramic bowls, they are so perfect and pretty. Once the candles were burned down, I just wiped out the leftover wax and have been reusing them with votives.

5. Sometimes I use caps properly. sometimes I don't. I usually intend to do one or the other but most of the time it ends up a mix and I'm sure it bugs the crud out of the grammar conscious. Or anyone who got through elementary school really.

6. I could come up with a million things for this type of thing when I'm not typing. I rehearse blog posts all the time when I'm not actually at the computer. But then I get on, I go to typepad, and I go blank. Which probably explains why my 6 quirky thing aren't all that quirky or even interesting! that's ok though. I really should write things down more so I don't do this to myself.

And I tag.... everyone of course!

It's time for bed, I'm excited to get up tomorrow, cook and get dressed up much more than usual and go EAT!!

Have a beautiful Thanksgiving everyone!

this ship is taking me far away...

I'm not really a card person - they're just a little too disposable to me. But I'm kind of into the idea of sending holiday cards this year.

I feel better knowing that with holiday cards, there are a million and one ways to reuse them and decorate with them, no throwing away necessary.

So far... I'm heading in these directions:

Both of these from Lisa Congdon. (here and here.) Found them last night. So in love with them, I may keep one each to frame.

Poppytalk has a great Holiday Card Guide going on. Lots of fun ideas.

I don't really have Christmas on the brain yet, just Christmas cards. heh.

Got to go jump in the shower - Happy Monday!

(title: Starlight by Muse)

whooooosh.

Two weekends ago I went to the Kansas City Renaissance Festival with the family. I love going out there - if I had more money I'd be out there every weekend just soaking it all in. And buying all those lovely goodies they sell. I love it all, from the women who hit on my husband and father, the man with the tickle feathers, turkey legs, the falling leaves, the floating bubbles,.... every little thing.

(more photos on my flickr. really wishing I would have got some nice scenery shots though...)

I forced myself to do an art journalish page tonight. I had been avoiding my desk all weekend for some reason even though it felt wrong. I mean, I had the time, idunno, maybe it was "blank page syndrome"?
but when I got done I was glad I did it because it was like ".... oh... right... i LIKE doing this." Sometimes I get all bent out of shape. Mostly when I read this that or the other online. Scrapbooking politics is damaging to the brain.

Some good things though:

This layout Patty did for the latest TAIF prompt (will post mine soon... just being lazy today.)
and
The amazing Cassie - because I whined to her a couple times about not being able to buy the new Dolce Fabric Thickers (in charcoal) yet last month and so she sent me a package she'd only used one out of. I'm not kidding. She's seriously awesome.

Neil is reading The Time Traveler's Wife right now. Which fills my heart up to the very brim. Every once in awhile I hear him laugh and that's music to my ears. Such sap, I know, but it's true. I has asked him to read it before we saw the movie but wasn't sure if he would. He went and grabbed it today and just started on it. yes.

should go to bed, busy day tomorrow.

I won't say I told you so

(lyrics from I Told You So by Keith Urban. Yum.)

I really did mean it when I said I would be updating a lot this week... I just feel like I have a lot to say I guess, a lot to share, a lot to bore you with, whichever you choose.

This is just going to be a rundown of things I've been meaning to post but haven't yet...

So you NEED to buy some tags from Jen Geigley's etsy shop. I placed a "custom order" with her and she was so super sweet and shipped super fast. Yep, she's super. and I really love the tags, I'm excited to use them.

Loved watching this video Dina Wakley did with Paperclipping.com. I just love listening to my favorite creative people talk about... well, anything, probably, but creative stuff of course. (there's a few minutes I noticed where the sound gets shut off accidently, just wait, it will come back, and the whole thing is long, so watch when you have time) I was watching the debate when this was live so I just caught it this morning.
So so so so so excited about her upcoming class.

If you are looking for some really great, natural shampoo - check out Toadstool Soaps on Etsy. I'm telling you, I am in LOVE with this shampoo and conditioner now. I bought the lavender scent, and my hair usually never ever smells so strongly or so good. Not only that, but my hair feels so soft and clean and .... I guess the way I've secretly always dreamed it would feel?
This shampoo is all natural and I believe she handmakes it after you order (everything I think, except of course her soaps). It is very important though, and really, should be with any shampoo you use, that you rinse your hair very well. I bought a brand new shower head with a powerful spray option for when I wash my hair. This way I'm getting all the shampoo, product, conditioners out. Otherwise, hair will get dull or even not very clean, and can even still feel oily in spots. Now that I said that, I realize that those with different hair types, like curly, wash their hair differently. My hair is thick, oily and straight/a little wavy, which I straighten. Also, between washing my hair well and using this shampoo/conditioner it is so much easier to style! score.

I seriously will not be buying store shampoo again. Very impressed. I'm still doing apple cider vinegar hair rinses, once a week if I feel my scalps needs it, mostly just in place of using a clarifying shampoo. I did get some emails about this so:
- only use apple cider vinegar - I tried a cheap white distilled vinegar once in a pinch when I ran out of ACV and the burning and itching that occurred was shocking, and just awful. I'm not exactly sure about other vinegars.
- I buy Bragg ACV. most any works fine, but I spend the little extra on this brand because I don't really spend much on other hair products.
- I just pour my vinegar in a drinking glass, and then dilute with the same amount of water added to the glass. I should measure, but I don't. story of my life.
- I shampoo first, rinse out my shampoo VERY well, then rinse my hair with the vinegar. I usually let the vinegar sit for a couple minutes (I'll shave the legs or something), then I rinse out again, VERY well. Then condition.
- I do not know how it affects hair color exactly - I color my hair on a whim usually every 3-4 months. I've never really noticed any fading but I have heard it can happen. I am not sure about blondes or light hair, since I have dark hair. I would suggest searching online about that though before trying anything.
- Vinegar is very clarifying, cleans my scalp like nothing else and makes my hair super shiny.

Thoughts at the grocery store yesterday:

- Honeycrisp apples are AMAZING. Kal Barteski blogged about them a couple times and I had never heard of them before that. When I was at the store last weekend I noticed them, and would not have cared except that Kal talked about how good they were. Tried them for the first time and oh YUM. So crisp and sweet. Had to buy more yesterday. Normally, I'm strictly a granny smith fan, but this season I've been trying new kinds, golden delicious, now honeycrisp and even tried a jonagold after that just because I was feeling crazy. I know. important stuff here.

- tiny shopping carts rule. you know, those one's that aren't as long as regular carts and have two baskets instead of just one huge one. yeah, so glad my store has them now.

- I bought too much pork yesterday. When I was checking out I realized just how much. Only a little turkey and buffalo. I'm not sure how big a deal it is, I've heard conflicting things about eating a lot of pork. Oh well, it's just this week.

To end this crazy bit of well, crazy, a pic of that man of mine:

umm, gee, yeah

whoa, thats a big image. silly typepad. or silly dani... whichever.

I've been married 3 years since the 17th.
I love it. I love him.
The night before (16th) we were lying in bed talking about how just insanely hard it really is. And how we must be really special to each other to do this and deal with this. It's not hard all the time, but it is hard sometimes. It's happy. It's sad. It's growing and changing and learning and dealing and bareing your soul 24/7.
Somebody once said to me that they thought, if you loved someone, really loved someone, then it would never be so hard. It would be easy because you love them.
And that bothered me. Because I think, it can be hard. Really really hard. But you're willing to do it and work at it and mean it because you love someone, really love someone.
Even though I love him, when it's hard, it's hard. It's not easy because I love him. It's still hard even though I love him. And the same for him, it's not any easier because he loves me.
And things in life that are easy just don't mean as much as the things that can be hard.
And working and building this marriage and getting through the hard parts make is sooo amazing.
Even though we have our own lives and we do our own things, lets face it. We are together more than we are apart. We see sides to each other that no one else in the world will ever see. There are intimacies that can't even be explained.
I love this relationship, it's thrilling and the challenge and the rewards are brilliant. I love him.

Feeling a bit bummed out for the past couple days about some of my brothers - I love all my brothers, the half, the step, the whole. They are all my brothers equally and fully. It's so weird to be a sister. It is so weird to wish and want so much for them and not really be able to really do anything. I am not perfect. They are not perfect. Still, being a sister is just a hard place sometimes. I can't imagine being a parent. I really can't at all.

I have learned that beauty products are a loss on me. I can't stand half of them and the other half usually just don't work. I get emails from Sephora sometimes (because by a major miracle, diorshow mascara does do wonders for me and I joined the mailing list last time I went to Sephora to buy it) and it's just full of... nothingness? Though... I keep thinking it would be fun to go in and have someone teach me to do a really awesome cat eye. I'm at a loss when I want to do up my eyes for date nights and things.
I've been rinsing my hair with apple cider vinegar and doing hot oil treatments with coconut oil. I know, I sound so crunchy right now, but I do not care! My hair has never been so healthy and happy. I can't believe how simple it is really. I love how this earth that God has given us truly does provide. Every thing that I do that gets me closer... it just feels so right. Sometimes I don't like saying things like that, because I know only a few years ago reading a sentence like that would make me roll my eyes. But this is what my heart feels and so that is what I should say.

More than just using food products on my hair I spend most of today doing girl stuff, plucking brows, hot bath, painting nails. It's nice to feel all fresh and clean.

Tomorrow is going to be a beautiful day for us all - depending on how we look at it. ;).

(and a million thanks for the love about sweet spuds, it was my first guest design spot in a quite awhile and I was very excited about it!)

Do the thing that I wanna do

I have the worst time coming up with titles to posts. but I like them. So I usually just throw up whatever is in my head at the moment, sometimes song lyrics, usually just a random word.

I really wanted to post today, but I've got a lot to do today and not much to say.
So, here are some random things:

- Lately I've been thinking about new glasses - I got my eyes checked back in January and I keep meaning to go back and get new frames and all that. But do you know how much nice glasses cost?? my insurance doesn't cover all of it. of course. But I'm kinda glad I didn't jump at buying some right away (even though mine now sit on my face crooked and should only be used for backup) because I'm thinking about trying something. I was surfing etsy and found these glasses. And now I can't get the idea of using something really crazy and vintage for my frames and just having the lenses put in! Then I can spend the money on some contacts and only have to wear the glasses when I really want to. I know people who do this with old frames, can't believe it never occurred to me before.

- I can be very apathetic sometimes. I really dislike that about myself but it's the truth. It isn't that I'm not a caring person, although some people may beg to differ. I just get, weird about things. I have a very low tolerance for anything that seems to freak me out or just feels bad. I'm all about the flight, I'm not a fan of sticking around to find out. I care a lot about a lot of things (trust me, I'm super sensitive, I feel EVERYTHING), but at the same time, when it comes to my own self preservation I have no problem turning that off and getting the hell out of a situation. I don't always handle that course of action the best way either - but I'm learning better about that. this may not make much sense. but it does to me.

- I need to shower and get ready for the day. I remember I used to get up, shower and get ready before anything else. But now, every single day, it's like torture.... I'm not anti shower, I'm very pro shower, but I kinda like to take my sweet time. I think it's because right now the results of getting cleaned up don't look that much better to me than the dirty version so there's really no motivation. ha. I know, I gotta work on that self esteem.

- Neil has school today. I won't see him until 10:30 tonight. He left at 4:30 this morning. I have to entertain myself tonight. boo.

- I need lots of money so I can shop on etsy and no one is sending it to me. oh wait - you think I should earn it..... (I'm sooo just kidding here. kind of.)
just look at this:

*sigh*

- seriously, I need to go get in the shower. Those are my thoughts this morning. I know they had you on the edge of your seat. They did mine. Or it may have had more to do with the cat that is sleeping behind me and won't let me have my chair. either way.

oh. p.s. - I meant to blog about this a long time ago, and I'm trying to get my blog reader cleared out so here: Isn't this post from Creature Comforts the very best? Though, honestly, the one I would wear more than the others is Heidi. I secretly wish I would wear one of the little mermaid looks though... but I wouldn't. just not me. But that's that. I know out of all the looks, I'd be dressed like Heidi, hanging out with the goats. yep.

I really hate bedtime.

hate it. I shouldn't say hate. I'm of the firm belief I don't actually hate anything. but geeze bedtime stinks. Truth is, I love mornings. And sunrises. And fresh, new days.

But I loooove staying up. I always feel like I'm going to miss out on something if I go to bed. Plus this darn internet. There's so much fun to be had by myself when everyone else is asleep!

Plus it's raining. And that is so good.
It will suck tomorrow when my doggie comes in with muddy paws and I'm groggy and still half asleep (it will have been amazing at that point that I actually fed and let her out!) and trying to wipe her off with the stinky dog towel.

but I'll worry about that when it gets here!

WAIT! Before reading any further - look at all this goodness. I can't get over it.

I need to do this so I am, because I adore Michelle:

Here are the rules:
(1) The winner can put the logo on their blog.
(2) Link the person you received your award from.
(3) Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
(4) Put links of those on yours.
(5) Leave a message on the blogs of the people you’ve nominated.

1. Kara. because she has more talent in her thumb than my whole dang self did at her age. She's just really magical and inspiring. And because we both are going to learn to start making mistakes.

2. Mandi. she's my star trek shirt twin! and she posts the best photos and projects on her blog, her ideas just blow me away. AND she comes up with the most insane designs for her scrapbook pages. I'm always in awe.

3. Debee. i cannot say enough how supportive and sweet she is. she is kind and uplifting no matter what. and she makes art cards to die for. and I have one hanging on my wall. oh yes.

4. Dina. i love her blog. i love her art. I found her blog last year and could not get over how much she rocked the spray ink. it's crazy good.

5. Marie. because she keeps it real. and because some day I will figure out how to do half the amazing things she does with paper.

6. Celine. who doesn't love her? seriously, if you don't you have problems, because she rocks.

7. Kim. when I found out she had a blog I was so happy. If you keep up with her on flickr you know what I mean. She rules. and she's so dang cute!

(do you all know how many blogs I read? how hard it was to make a list of just seven?)

I don't know why I keep forgetting to post this, but Neil and I saw Pineapple Express last weekend. And I LOVED it. It's like, the perfect dani movie. I know, I'm immature and I should spend more time watching artsy/indie/and all that films, but I love movies like this. Plus, James Franco's character looked so much like Neil that it was too perfect. I think it's the grin that does it. He was almost exactly like what Neil looks like now, but the way he was at about 15/16 years old. And I will let you form your own opinions about my husband's activities from there.

Plus it got me all hooked on this song Paper Planes by MIA. even more once I read what it was about.

dang. Neil brought me some tea before he went to bed and I forgot about it. Now it's cold.
I could heat it up. But I'm comfy.

decisions, decisions.

thinking about...

how I've been updating my blog like crazy lately but I haven't been so hot about visiting other blogs this week. I'm sorry guys - I'm going to get on it tonight after this post, promise.

how I absolutely hate it so much when I hear my 14 year old brother say "that guy is such a fag" or "that is so gay". To be honest, all of my brothers have done it at some point and most the people I know have done it at some point and it just pisses me off so much. Especially the "that's so gay" thing. Can someone please explain that to me? If something is stupid, why don't you just say that? If you don't like something, why don't you just say that? Urgh.

the aug/sept Readymade magazine. love it.

and this magazine, GOOD. I was pleasantly surprised by it. Lately, I've been wanting to take the time to learn more about what's going on in our society. I think it has a lot to do with the upcoming election. Lately I've just had more of desire to read about more things in a magazine than clothes and makeup. (NOT that that's a bad thing either though.)

(this is also going to sound so weird but there is in article in it about Guinea Worm Disease and it was so cool (well, not really cool, guinea worm is no fun) because back in my junior year of HS I did a huge report on Guinea Worms - so when I got the article and I actually already knew some of the facts it was such a pleasant suprise. Is that nerdy? probably.)

(omg - that was the weirdest thing I've ever posted on here, I'm pretty sure.)

(oh well.)

these really awesome tips on braiding your hair from Free People. I can't wait until I can do that with mine.

my awesome new a line haircut. I had no idea how fun this style is. It's just funky enough without being too much for me, I love it. My hairdresser totally fixed the mess, I should have never strayed from her.

how awesome Michelle is. Seriously - thank you for those incredibly sweet words, you have no idea how much it meant to read that!! I never know how people are going to receive my blog, because sometimes I talk about personal things, without getting too personal, and while I hope it doesn't seem like I spend most of time whining or anything at the same time I gotta get out what I gotta get out, does that make any sense?? lol. Anyways, it just meant a whole lot to read that! I love ya girl! And I will be posting up my picks very soon.

how I'm probably going to do a blog disclaimer post soon, because I've gotten a couple emails and while I figure, people are going to think what they want to think so I shouldn't bother but it's my blog and I like disclaimers. I feel like more things should have disclaimers.

(i just realized that last one probably made no sense. eh.)

whenever I need something to just automatically cheer me up without question, I read Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging: Confessions of Georgia Nicolson. And all the books after that. They just make me laugh out loud. I usually read them in the bath. There's nothing better than that. I have started reading it again this week. I've probably read those books as much as I have read The Time Traveler's Wife and that is saying a LOT.

How much I love my grandma. We spent the day with her, we have been most saturdays lately but it's a very good thing and as much as she says she loves it, I know that I really love it too. And in a way I need it.

the Democratic National Convention. I wasn't expecting to feel the way I felt about it. it was a pleasant suprise.

that I really need to start eating better again. I'm starting to make myself pretty sick on a daily basis and when the cure is that easy there is just no excuse. I have to take better care of myself.

and now I'm thinking I gotta wrap this up so I can get on to the blog reading! later gators.

bursting.

I have so many good things to share!
in good time though...

This is all I really wanted to say today:

I've fallen in love with this shop, Hide n Seek.
And I'm going to go live in one of her illustrations.

either this one:

or this one:

see you all later! I'll let know how much fun I had when I come back for a visit!
Happy Friday!

sweet stuff.

I got something so lovely in the mail a couple days ago:

opening the door:

I believe she's got more goodies in her etsy shop too!
Thank you so much Kayla, I love it and it was so thoughtful of you to send!

Got another photo of a page in my journal before the sun got too low yesterday to take any more. I'm really not used to doing things with a point and shoot. It's a tad foreign.

(reposted from flickr because I'm a lazy bum) "Sometimes I go into phases where I just want to scrap in journals - I was going to use this one for actual daily entry but right now I'm just scrapping anything and everything in it, dailies, artsy stuff, everything.
It gets old having a million different books and places for things, kwim? It's kinda nice to just have one spot for now. It's just where my life is hanging out right now. All of it. Good and bad."

and one more thing:

why is it when you tell kids to "hold still!" they suddenly start moving?? Another thing I'm not used to with the point and shoot.... very sensitive!

Got a lot to get done today. And that is good.

Camera, you have my heart.

I miss having a camera so much. I don't know when mine is coming back to me and cell phone cameras just don't cut it. I'm so close to getting a point and shoot but not quite there yet.

I have so many different little pages and things I want to share - I've been doing a lot of art journaling/scrapbooking in the daily journal I posted awhile back. AND I have a photo printer!!! Found it on craigslist for a measly $40! Had to get it and I'm sooooooo happy people. So happy. If only I could share...

To make myself feel better, I'm going to do a post with photos, maybe not my photos, just some stuff I've found online recently...

First of all, has everyone seen this story yet? Random fact about me: I love animals. But I also really really really love gorillas. They fascinate me. If I ever can do it, one of my dreams is to be able to see mountain gorillas in the wild. That story just touched my heart! (just for future reference I also have an intense love for bears (I collect zuni/native american type bear jewelry like this), llamas, kangaroos and donkeys. oh! and ducks. actually a majority of farm animals. But gorillas truly have my heart. ahem.)

Found this yesterday:

Isn't it amazing??? Story of My Life always has the best themes I think --- I think this would be a lovely little "just for fun" project.

I'm really into mermaids/sea stuff right now. My bathroom already is going to have a turquoise/teal/seafoam green scheme (but the good kind, like serious color, not the muted tones from back in the day) and I'm thinking that along with the hippie vibe that flows through most of my decor anyways, I would put up some ocean/pirate/mermaid/sea creature prints in a collection on the main wall.... I'm really in love with the idea actually! But no seashell soaps in a dish that no one ever gets to use, thank you very much. I'm thinking some BoyGirlParty prints like this one and this one. Yes. And probably this one because it's oh so cute.

Found the mermaid fabric that the above pouch in the kit is made from on etsy:

There are so many lovely colors of each of these patterns too.... I need them all... it would be so fun to make a little mermaid quilt I think... if I ever actually make a quilt. Hmmm.

Moving on.

Isn't this pretty?

and these. I need these.

these make me so happy.

I've been lusting after these bowls:

and this mirror:

from U.O. for months now. Oh, and this bag. And this cape. but those are more recent finds.

Lastly (because the sun has now come up and my dog is looking at me longingly for a walk...) have you all heard about Sweet Twee Labs?? I just found them last month - and duuude. Look at this sneak for the Sept. kit:

Looove it. The thing is, I really want to love most kits. I think kits are such a cool idea. However, I'm kinda picky, no I'm very picky. But I love all the vintage in these kits and the colors and the themes. After digging through some of the previous kits on Etsy yeah... gotta preorder this one.

Ok, that's that, just wanted to share some fun recent finds - kinda random but at least my poor blog has some eye candy now!

and for anyone wondering about the font on my blog (the sides are permanent, the banner is just temporary until I get my camera back, scanning a banner just does not work!) I found it here, from this post on poppytalk.

It's a lovely foggy rainy morning.... I'm gonna go enjoy it! Everyone have a good weekend!

boho.

I went into Borders yesterday morning, just browsing, look for a small treat since it had been awhile since I've been able to indulge in a magazine.

I found Boho staring at me from the magazine rack - it was the only copy, and I think it was in the wrong place but after looking over all the racks I couldn't find it anywhere else so I have no idea. But it was MINE.

So glad I bought it, it's refreshing and pretty much everything in it was a tad too indulgent for me (right now) but still, serious fun, the design is lovely and someday, someday soon, I'll be able to make these kind of purchases, which will be much better for myself and the planet.

Still... I would love to see a magazine just like this that was just a little more budget friendly, maybe with more of a leaning toward the craft/homemade? Maybe, like a mix of this and Adorn magazine. (omigosh - it's gone!! When did this happen????? What happened? how did I not know about it!? Ugh. So I'm waaayyy out of the loop on that.) Someday, I just know there will be the perfect magazine for me... until then, this will more than do!

blah blah blah blaaah.

my blog looks like a mess to me. as soon as I get my camera back I'm going to redo the design. I don't know, it feels cluttered and it's bugging me.

I'm in a weird mood lately though so I may change my mind.

I've been up since 4:30. Neil's new job is in Leavenworth, KS. If I wanted to be over dramatic I would point out that Kansas is another state. Which means it can take him an hour to an hour and half to and from everyday. That really depends more on traffic than anything. Joy.

So I'm just surfing and listening to MTV. Kara! The Jonas Brothers are on right now! Oh wait - that song is over. It's Missy Elliot and umm... Danity Kane?? I can only handle MTV early in the mornings when I just want nonsense music. Otherwise TV would be off.

So, I meant to blog this..... awhile ago. I don't know what's wrong with me lately... like I said, weird mood. Things feel off to me. Anyways -

For my birthday, I did some etsy shopping from Emily Falconbridge's shop...

It was insanely fun getting that stuff in the mail..... just a box of happy! Emily inspires me so much... I stalk her blog almost every day, she just seems so free and expressive, not just in her art but her life.
If I could, I would pick up this awesomeness, but for now I'll just admire it online.

I guess... I should go shower or something? I could take skye for a walk..... sun is up now, and it's probably another cool morning. The weather has been amazing lately...

oh well ok then.

so before I get to the winner of the RAK. I'm gonna ramble on and on for a bit.

So, birthday was good.
And the days after have been just as good and rainy too which is just always a blessing in my book. It usually rains on my actual birthday, but not this year, just the day before and the days after. I like to think it's my present from mother nature. :)

So yeah, in the morning on Sunday I had breakfast (crepes and banana bread, my forbidden foods!! yeah!) with my Aunt Dixie, Gma Judy and Neil. Then we saw Mamma Mia with the former along with my dad and Toni. I cannot recommend that movie enough!! Loved it so much, I want to see it over and over. Too bad movies aren't too cheap. Or too bad I'm not made of money.
Neil and I after breakfast:

Then Neil and I went up to the Plaza. Walked around and for the very 1st time ever I went into Anthropologie. See, I only had even been to the Plaza for the first time just last year, and those were only for quick trips to Urban Outfitters, so no time for anything else. And of course I've been to the anthro website, and I thought everything looked lovely, but I didn't get why everyone was just sooooo in love with the place.
But now I GET IT.
Oh my word, I soooo get it.
I want to move in.
Or at least I want to buy all the bedding. And all the dresses. And a couple of the purses. And all the pangea soap.

But again, I'm not made of money. I bought a few things...

scarf is from UO though. (I've worn it every day since buying it, man it's perfect) And a bar of Pangea Lavender and Cardamom soap is missing. Since it's in my bathtub, and I've been trying to come up with reasons to shower because my goodness it smells divine. And that lovely vase. Do you notice all the yellow?? Man, I can't get enough of it lately. And that journal... and that tank....

Anyways.
Birthday was awesome. I would keep going on about the day, like the awesome dinner at P.F. Changs, but I've rambled enough about it.
Lets talk happy mail shall we?

Cassie completely suprised me and sent me this insanely cool package. That jar in the back is a jar full of "whimsy" and the stuff inside was just crazy fun. Seriously Cassie, I can't thank you enough! I actually got it a few days ago now, but I wanted to post everything together. And that photo doesn't even show all the little goodies everywhere.

Kara and I did a swap and it just worked out that we were shipping around my birthday:

BUT I had no idea she would send me a little present - a gift card to starbucks! And here's another first, I had never ever been to starbucks before yesterday. I can't have coffee, it makes me yucky ill. (I'm sure I've gone into my food issues before...) So I just never really felt I had a reason to go. And I was never quite popular enough to hang out with the other art students who went there. But I had heard they had awesome mugs and I knew as soon as I got the card that I would be getting one.

And I found out they have yummy smoothies too! I could actually see myself hanging out there. Plus I'm so in love with that mug. So from the bottom of my smoothie, mug loving heart, thank you Kara! Plus the beautiful layout and art card.... yeah. wow.

So the truth is I stalk the mail woman. I check the mail constantly during the morning until it comes. Yesterday I was pretty sure I'd be getting a package so I was really going crazy about it. (I really love mail??) Since it was raining, about the 2nd time I'd run out there I realized I was leaving footprints on the dry parts of the driveway.

It's the little things in life...

So this was a full post. ah well, believe it or not I feel like I had more to say... can't think of it!

Drumroll please....
the winner is......
(according to the random number generator)

comment #15!!

happy 23!!!!!!!!!!!! warm wishes! party hard!

Posted by:kayla | July 27, 2008 at 10:36 AM

So Kayla, email me with your current email address (just wanna make sure I get it right) and I'll have the gift certificate emailed to you in a jiffy! Enjoy it!!

Seriously, thanks for the all the many birthday wishes, and I know the RAK probably aided in leaving the comments, but it made my day(s) having all that love popping up in my inbox whenever I got a comment. Truly, thank you all!

*phew* this post took ages.... but I feel good. It's nice to having something fun to post about with the therapy stuff going on right now... it's refreshing. And a reminder about so many things. Gonna go start working on Ashley Wren's latest class over at SIS and watch the season premier of Eureka...

I wonder.

So today I'm listening to Paramore. Like, the same songs, everything I can find, over and over. 'cause that's how I roll. I listen to music like that..... the same stuff, over and over, drinking it all up way too fast and getting tummy ache. Or something.

Raise your hand if you like this song by Regina Spektor. just checking.

Birthday in....... ughhhh.... 3 days! 

OH! Here's the deal kids..... This month has been one giant blessing for me. Little things really, but it all means a lot. and yes, it will be my birthday on sunday, but I'm a firm believer in spreading and sharing the love and so there will be a RAK here on sunday. be there or be square. (and maybe I just want to give you a reason to leave me birthday wishes?? oh yes.)
Here's what I mean though - I got an email from a rep. at Sakura (you know, gelly roll pens??) after Scrapbooking Magazine featured my blog in their newsletter. And they sent me a bazillion beautiful pens, all different colors to try out. I mean, whoa. and I've used a couple so far and they're crazy fun.
I won a free kit from RVKC this month on their blog. Yessss...... I'm saving it and the project kit to scrap with in the fall I think, when I have a couple small roadtrips/outings planned. Maybe. But the awesome Kim Smith POW papers are in it, so if you want one, and I think you do, go get one here.
I also won an awesome RAK from Sarah Bowen's blog - whee!
My husband has been home ALL MONTH LONG. Yeah, we're broke as can be, but my family has helped out, he's had odd jobs, and we're OK. And together. and it's lovely.
We're helping my grandma remodel her house and I've been able to see her and my great aunt more this month than I have at all since I moved. This is good, this is so so so very good.
I'm seriously a lucky girl. I'm taking the time to think about these things, blog these things, not because I want to brag, but because right now I need to tell myself, that these wonderful things are here and happen in my life.
The point?? RAK on sunday!

Watched the movie Fur again recently. I love this movie. I don't just like it, I love it. It fascinates me. And I know that when I get my own house my bedroom walls will look like these walls:

 

I've become obsessed with this idea of just having a room, with aged blue walls and just a bed. Our room is also my art space, clothes space, office space right now and yeah, I would love a room that was just blue walls and a bed.

What else... oh..

layout for TAIF:

I've been...... mad lately. Really mad about some things, it's all part of the process I know, but I'm actually the type to get mad, deal with it and then get over it asap. So this whole process of staying angry for a few days, dwelling on it and focusing on my feelings is just odd for me. I know it's a big thing though and it needs that kind of attention. I've been using "eff" alot lately too. Kinda trying to cut back on my cussing. ahem. 
 
and layout for OLW:


You know what I think my next major purchase will be? This bag from Free People:

It's a bit pricey, but I'm sick of buying a bunch of cheap things just to see them unravel or ruin. Plus, I love it so much that I will probably have to save for three months to get it. That's probably a good lesson anyways right?

Also - I need help with this because I always seem to ruin my pens this way and hey, those things ain't cheap! What types of pens do you all use for writing over dry paint?? I love to just write straight onto things without journaling blocks/stickers/labels BUT I always end up ruining my pens! Any suggestions?

omigosh, I just took a drink from the mixed berry/mango smoothie I just made and .... yummmm.
DUDE, I'm done typing.... stepping away from the keyboard.

I know it....

I'm posting twice in the same day, not even half a day apart BUT I'm just in that sort of mood.

It tickles me to death when I see the date of my birthday attached to things... Isn't that silly, I mean, it is just a day after all for many, but still it makes me giddy.
The Simpsons movie came out last year on my birthday and that fact just cracked me up.
I believe the last Austin Powers movie came out on my birthday too, back in... 2001? 2002? 2002, I'm pretty sure. Funny.
Anyways, my point (I did have one!) Elle's Studio has a RAK on their blog and they announce the winner on my birthday! So, go leave a lovely comment and I'm sending you all good luck vibes!
You all don't even know how much I love having a birthday each year, and it's really not even about the normal birthday things... it just seems like such luck that we all get to have these special days and that we get to be here and exist year after year. I'm just so impressed by that. Is that silly? probably.

I'm so so so so so in love with this print:

and this print:

by Michelle Brusgaard. There's just something so sweet and innocent about them but at the same time, something so mature and knowing as well....

I really really really want to see The Dark Knight and Mamma Mia ASAP. Which will probably be next month with the current state of my husband's job status but I'm ok with that. I'm trying to stay positive. It's sort of been like a month long birthday present, getting to spend so much time with him. Plus, he's really pulled through and helped out my grandma with her new house, which would have been much harder on him if he would have been working. The work he did is just awesome, the place looks great. I have to see the blessing in all this - that's the most important thing. He'll be back to work soon enough and I'll be wishing he were home of course...

I've been dreaming about camping just like this. I've really just been dreaming about camping lately. So much so I've been trying to no avail to convince Neil that we should just sleep outside on the patio one night, but he's not really feeling it. I mean, who would know really?? Just the neighbors, and whoever drove by, but really, no big deal. I'll keep working on it. Let you know how it goes.

So, I've been thinking a lot about collage work and painting again. You gotta know, after I had a bit of a struggle my senior year of highschool (after a couple successful art shows even) I kind of just dropped the idea of ever pursuing painting or what I considered "that type" of art work. I knew I wanted to study photography, which has been, in a way another struggle for me, but I just let the other stuff drop. I give up too easy. I picked up art journaling again, which led to scrapbooking and now I'm finding myself just wanting to pick up painting and collage again. Just for myself.... maybe take some decent college courses. I miss that dream I used to have and it was sort of refreshing when it came back to my mind as a possibility. Sometimes I give up too easily - that is just NOT COOL man.
Really inspired by work like this by Cathy Nichols and this amazing photostream by Michele Maule.

Ok, I really should go, I have some things to work on! Just really quick, I want to say, as always THANK YOU ALL for your kind comments/emails on my recent post about therapy. I can tell you enough how much it means to me, it's hard sometimes, I love blogging and I want to be real, as much as I feel like I can, but I don't want it to seem like I'm just posting for attention. Ah well, my blog, my posts, yadayada. Thanks for the love, seriously, it always fills my heart.

flicky flick flickr

I really love sneaking into peoples flickr favorites and finding new awesome photos. fine, it's not sneaking since everything is public, but anyways...

this week I've checked out:

.elsie*cake. (oh come on, don't we all pretty much stalk her??)

the.new.slang

ms. kara

Not only their flickr favorites but their photostreams ROCK as well.
I have got to learn how to take better self portraits. I'm only a little vain.

later gators.

oh! p.s.- (I know I don't really need to say p.s. but who doesn't love a good p.s.?) is it weird that the only bag I want to carry around lately is my backpack? I'm really just over trying to find a decent purse. But I keep getting weird looks lugging around a giant backpack everywhere. Like I must be up to no good.

yeah, I must be up to no good.

she's back.

can't sleep. we go sign the lease tomorrow and do the walk through and get the keys and maybe move a few things in and I'm just too excited to sleep. with school being out for summer I'm thinking I'm just gonna stay up as late as possible tonight so that way I'll wake up insanely late tomorrow and I won't be waiting around all day for Neil to get home! Sounds good!

Another thing about summer is that I'm thinking more about raw foods.... I dabble in it from time to time.... mostly I strive to keep my diet 50% raw - much harder for me to do in the winter, but now that it's warm and farmers markets are open and thriving. mmmmmmm. fresh fruits and veggies just make me so happy.

Plus, don't these cookies just sound amazing! (found the link through elsie's flickr favorites- I cheat when I'm looking for recipes and check out her faves because she's always got something new and yummy saved there! ha.) ohhh man and these corn cakes!

We made a new giant cat pole using these instructions tonight. We added a nice little sleeping perch to it and it's a tad.... ehh.... home made looking but it will do the trick! I'm thinking I'll be posting it on craftster soon to show off my hubby's handiwork!

Been spending my days really focusing on my photography, I always try to keep studying, keep it all fresh in my mind. Have you ever loved something so much it just scares the crap out of you? That's what photography is to me. I've always felt like, this is what I'm supposed to do when I'm behind a camera... but still.... freaks me out so much! Been spending lots of time on flickr for inspiration. I've really underestimated flickr and really discovering it has been fun.

AND here is my first very flickr mosaic..... wow, I know. dani is sooo behind the times. ah well.



1. Untitled, 2. POW!, 3. i had to bend really awkwardly to take this, 4. DSCN0584, 5. Untitled, 6. 'Juicy' Sneak Peek, 7. that's MRS. willy wonka to you..., 8. Polaroid Wall, 9. Untitled, 10. ...making wishes..., 11. toddlertights, 12. Untitled, 13. 73/365 Days - Embrace, 14. Day 143., 15. Untitled, 16. 25 / 52: Be Grateful!

(I'm not sure about flickr/mosaic etiquette, but I do want to say, of course, thanks for the inspiration!)
just some new photos I've found. well, new for me anyways. :)

and I totally lied when I said I was done pinning back my bangs. About an hour after my last post they started annoying me again and I clipped them up! BUT this time, with my lovely clips from meeting street designs - YOU, yes YOU need some of these clips. I love them. Even if I never match them to what I'm wearing and I look a tad on the five year old side. that is ok.

this post is insanely cheerful.... and I kinda like that! because I have been feeling really good lately and I figure either way, someone is gonna say, that girl is just too happy, must be fake. Or that girl is so depressing, she must want attention. So, I think I'll just post what I want and not worry so much about what everyone else thinks. ahhhh....

man, I'm like the queen of run on sentences!

Sirens

Stormy night tonight.... we had a tornado warning for like all of 15 minutes, but nothing happened so thank goodness for that.... not so sure about other parts of the Kansas City area, I will have to make sure and catch the news in the morning!

I was of course freaking when the sirens started..... while the rest of my family were more than totally calm. I always come out looking like the crazy one in my family.... hopefully it's a cute crazy??

So, right now I'm in love with these two books:

Scraptastic by Ashley Calder

and

Love, Elsie Recipe Idea Box
(sweet husband picked this up for me at Archivers!)

I just love having new books to read..... it's such a lovely treat. Tonight I was still feeling a bit low so Neil took me out to Borders to sit, have some Izze and read. I thumbed through Quilting Arts, Cloth Paper Scissors, Somerset Studio, Juxtapoz.... ahhhh nice. very very nice.

I have so many new things coming up! Some I'm so nervous about, and some I'm sooo excited about. I want to try and stay positive most of all. I know I've been talking about my therapy a lot and I appreciate everyone's kind words - seriously, these internet friendships always amaze me! Therapy is really rough work right now, and I wasn't prepared for all the digging and soul searching I was going to have to start doing! I can already see the good coming from it though...

I have a couple new journal pages to post tomorrow.... many hugs and cheers because tomorrow is FRIDAY!!