(part one is below this post. or here.)
(Yeah, this is one of my posts about emotions. Because I get emotional.
Even over snakes coming out of toilets. Or maybe I should say, especially because of snakes coming out of toilets!)
So Neil finds a snake in our toilet.
And he's rushing around the house, getting it out, cleaning up the mess he made trying to get it out and trying very hard not to let me in on what's going on.
When he rushes down the hallway and into the other bathroom, right across from where I am, I ask him what he's doing.
He tells me "you don't wanna know".
Which is pretty much the cue for me to ask him over and over until he tells me right?
I wish he hadn't told me.
He wishes he hadn't told me.
About an hour later, after I've scoured the internet and called different home improvement/hardware stores looking for a solution to animals in your pipes.. .and after Neil found the crack in the the lid of our septic tank and sealed it, I was still very, very freaked out.
I did get some sort of answers in something called a Snake, Rat, Frog and Vermin barrier that is put onto toilets to keep them from coming up. Screens for all the other drains, which I suppose will help keep out spiders as well.
Very, very freaked out.
Neil is just not. But he's not the freak out type. Like I mentioned in the last post too, critters don't bother him. And he does very well with me and the fact that I'm more sensitive than him. More emotional than him. More prone to freak out about things than him.
Actually... he does very well. I've heard stories about spouses/partners who are not so understanding. The whole, "I'm not upset, so why should you be upset" or "it doesn't matter to me, why does it matter to you" sort of mentality.
Anyways. Neil is not very freaked out. I'm talking about it, trying to calm down and suddenly I look over at him and he's got that smirk on his face. The one he tries very, very hard not to reveal when I'm like this. This is his "I'm trying hard not to laugh right now" smirk.
And I just sit down and start to cry.
Because I'm crazy right, I just flipping crazy and now I'll never feel sane using a toilet again and blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then he says something that made me feel incredibly better.
Not about the snake in the toilet.
That will take some time... ha.
Just about my sanity.
He said, "just because I'm underwhelmed by this doesn't mean you shouldn't be overwhelmed by it. and just because I don't react to things the same way that you do, doesn't mean that your feelings are wrong."
And he went on to talk about how, my feelings are my feelings, and so on.
He's laughing and saying "besides, I'm pretty sure this is one time where I'm in the minority. I'm pretty sure there are a ton of people who would feel the way you're feeling about a snake coming up their toilet."
You know what though? Of course I knew all this, or believe in all this, or at least wanted for it to be true.
I probably didn't need him to say any of that to me to believe that. But the fact that he did, was such a nice thing to hear.
I think it's human to look around and wonder if your feelings are wrong because not everyone shares them. It's especially so for people who tend to cry, like me. It is common opinion that we should NOT CRY. And when you're a person who just wants to cry, you feel like such a crazy person because you just can't help it.
But it's ok to cry. If you need to cry, you should cry.
If you need to be freaked out because a snake came up your toilet, then by all means, be freaked out.
And my bladder pretty much dries up at the thought that I should go sit down on a toilet. I'm doing a whole "squat down, stand back up really fast, squat again, no wait I should double check, squat, stand back up, oh goodness I really need to pee, pee very very very very fast, stand back up" thing.
Hopefully I'll be able to relax once the toilet parts and screens get here... I know it's mostly all in my head and not likely to happen again but for now I'm really looking forward to getting out of the house later and using a public restroom.