Back in October, when I was wallowing in self pity, Michelle sent me a package. It was a serious surprise, and I remember my first thought about it was a bit of panic. Neil had just found out that a job lead that was promising fell through, and they wouldn't actually be hiring anybody. Literally, I think I checked the mail, then came back in and he told me the news.
So I had this package, and I opened it and I remember wanting to just bawl. I felt so insanely selfish about the fact that I would not be able to send her anything back, even as a thank you.
Which, really, is not true. I could have sat down any time that week, or that month, or two months later, and written her a little note thanking her, made her a little card, something. Shoot, even just a quick email would have been fine. But I remember that all I could think was "that is NOT good enough, don't bother."
I'm kind of a jackass like that sometimes.
But anyways... this package was insanely sweet.
She sent me some yummy tea, and one of those little mesh tea balls, which I've NEVER had before. Opened up a whole new world of tea to me!
She sent me a sweet little candycorn decoration, for halloween. Which I tied some ribbon to and hung on the basement back door.
She also sent me a little bag of rocks...
Found on Baker Beach in San Francisco.
And I probably have mentioned this before, but I obsess over rocks. I've collected them my whole life and I have random jars and bags of them all over. Neil will come home with a rock or fossil he's found every so often and it makes my heart sing.
Yea, rocks make my heart sing.
It's that little eleven year old in me who thought some day she would study fossils or become a volcanologist. I love that kid.
I keep them in that little orange basket on my desk, and every so often will dump them out and look each one over.
There was also this pendant, that Michelle's mom made with beach glass. At first, I wasn't sure how to use it, since I usually wear stuff like this on a black cord and I was out of them.
But you remember that darn locket??
I had a chain from the extras, it just needed a pendant and that was that.
It's really cute over my gray tank tops.
So maybe sometimes, I'm not in a position where I can give back. But does that mean I should not receive? And graciously at that? I'm always in a panic when people gift me things without expectation, and the guilt that follows for not being able to give something in return, well, sure I'm a kind enough person to want to, but sometimes people just want to do something nice.
And I need to shut my brain up and appreciate that. And then when I'm in a position to reciprocate, I can.
I gotta stop hitting the panic button in my head all the time.
Michelle, again, thank you - you're a doll.
So I had this package, and I opened it and I remember wanting to just bawl. I felt so insanely selfish about the fact that I would not be able to send her anything back, even as a thank you.
Which, really, is not true. I could have sat down any time that week, or that month, or two months later, and written her a little note thanking her, made her a little card, something. Shoot, even just a quick email would have been fine. But I remember that all I could think was "that is NOT good enough, don't bother."
I'm kind of a jackass like that sometimes.
But anyways... this package was insanely sweet.
She sent me some yummy tea, and one of those little mesh tea balls, which I've NEVER had before. Opened up a whole new world of tea to me!
She sent me a sweet little candycorn decoration, for halloween. Which I tied some ribbon to and hung on the basement back door.
She also sent me a little bag of rocks...
And I probably have mentioned this before, but I obsess over rocks. I've collected them my whole life and I have random jars and bags of them all over. Neil will come home with a rock or fossil he's found every so often and it makes my heart sing.
Yea, rocks make my heart sing.
It's that little eleven year old in me who thought some day she would study fossils or become a volcanologist. I love that kid.
I keep them in that little orange basket on my desk, and every so often will dump them out and look each one over.
There was also this pendant, that Michelle's mom made with beach glass. At first, I wasn't sure how to use it, since I usually wear stuff like this on a black cord and I was out of them.
But you remember that darn locket??
I had a chain from the extras, it just needed a pendant and that was that.
It's really cute over my gray tank tops.
So maybe sometimes, I'm not in a position where I can give back. But does that mean I should not receive? And graciously at that? I'm always in a panic when people gift me things without expectation, and the guilt that follows for not being able to give something in return, well, sure I'm a kind enough person to want to, but sometimes people just want to do something nice.
And I need to shut my brain up and appreciate that. And then when I'm in a position to reciprocate, I can.
I gotta stop hitting the panic button in my head all the time.
Michelle, again, thank you - you're a doll.
